


Dadberts Home For Damaged Children

by AmeliaDunnoWhat



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - No Sburb Session, Angst, Cuddling & Snuggling, Cuties, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Foster Care AU, Humanstuck, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-02-08
Updated: 2014-03-24
Packaged: 2018-01-11 13:57:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1173886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmeliaDunnoWhat/pseuds/AmeliaDunnoWhat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Dave Strider finds himself orphaned and taken into a foster home with his childhood friend Rose Lalonde, a friendly but strange girl named Jade and certain dorky John Egbert, well, he really doesn't know what to do with his feelings.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Sooooo the first chapter is hella long, sorry! The following will hopefully be a more reasonable length. I hope you enjoy my weird au fan fic. s in these things?!

          Your name is Dave Strider and were not ready to be alone. The same way Bro wasn't ready to be your dad. You weren't ready to find his body, you weren't ready to lose your only remaining family and you certainly aren't ready to go into foster care. Not that you have any say in the matter. It's been one week since the funeral and you've been told that a family is going to take you in for a year. They ask you if you have any questions and you shake your head. You'll find out soon enough and asking questions won't change the results. Bro did his best to keep you out of foster care after your parents died, raising you in a shitty apartment on minimum wage and whatever else he could get. The next day you're flying from Texas to Washington. You get out of the plane to find yourself in balmy early june weather that is considerably less sweltering than the texas weather you’re familiar with. Your bag is loaded into a car and you are driven to a largish suburban house. You ring the doorbell and hear a dual cry of 'Daaaaad!' Shit I have foster siblings, you think. A man answers the door that you assume to be your foster father.  
          "Hello, Dave!" He says genially.  
          "Sup."  
          The man proceeds to babble on about meaningless things like the comfort of your flight, how happy he is that you’re here and that you'll be sharing a bedroom. Wait. Shit. You'll be a sharing a bedroom. This is when you turn to look at your foster siblings. There is a short boy with messy black hair, blue eyes, thick square glasses and a buck toothed grin. The girl next to him is taller, with long black hair, round glasses and green eyes and her overbite isn't as bad. They look like siblings or twins. However, they look nothing like their dad. They introduce themselves as John Egbert and Jade Harley and they look genuinely happy to see you. Weird.  
          "Here, I'll show you to our room!" He says cheerfully and leads you upstairs.  
You push open the door to find half of the room is covered in movie posters. Oh fuck no. Terrible movie posters. Jesus fuck, does he actually like Nic Cage? Is he being ironic? You look him up and down. No, John is just a shameless dork. Other than shitting movie posters, the room contains a desk with a computer, a weird looking chest and a keyboard. Thankfully, what looks like your side of the room has walls void of Nic Cage and has a twin sized bed, a dresser and an empty desk. You set your bag on the bed and turn to find John babbling.  
          "I'm sure you'll like it here! Dad is really great, he took me in after Nanna died and he's been a really great dad, much better than any of my other foster parents, he even has prank wars with me and Jade! Jade is great too, she's my cousin, she lived with her grandpa before the accident. "  
          "So he fosters a lot of kids?" You ask.  
          "Yeah, he took in me about four years ago, and Jade a few months after. After a year, since we all got along really well he adopted us. Other than that we've had a couple other kids stay with us awhile, usually while their parent is in rehab or some other issue. We still keep in touch with some of them."  
          You nod. You don't expect to stay like John and Jade have, you'll probably just drift off to the next home after a year. You look John in the eyes and promise yourself not to get attached. You decide to unpack your things. Not like you have many, just a some clothes, your katana, a couple dead things in jars, your camera, a shitty laptop and a beaten up old iPod.  
          “Um, Dave?”  
          “Yeah?”  
          “Is that a three legged frog in a jar?”  
          “Yeah.”  
          “Weird.”  
          You hear the word and internally cringe. It’s not like you weren’t expecting it, you knew that people wouldn’t like you.           That’s when you turn to find that John is grinning. What the fuck? He’s grinning. Okay, you are not prepared for this. People don’t grin at you. You get weird looks, poker faces and sympathetic smiles that get on your nerves, not grins. John plops himself down on your bed and examines your other preserved animal corpses. Where is the judgemental stare? Why isn’t he creeped out? That’s when he sees your katana.  
          “Woah! That’s so cool? Is it real?”  
          You nod. Okay, what is with this kid. Why doesn’t he seem mildly disturbed and or scared by you? It’s not like he’s a freak, he’s just some dork who really likes bad movies. Him and his cousin seem so normal. Normal people don’t like you, with your preserved dead things, shitty swords and long mumbly rants about irony. They just don’t. You’re used to not being liked, it’s why you hide behind a pokerface and oversized aviator shades. You pretend to not care and layer things with ‘irony’ so no one actually knows if you really like something. Somehow this kid isn’t put off by you at all. What the hell?  
          “Hey, let’s go make some lunch.”  
          “Okay.”  
          You’re about to say that you aren’t hungry when you remember you didn’t have breakfast and you’re a teenage boy. Hell yes you are hungry. You both head down to the kitchen and are greeted by Jade.  
          “Hi! Lunch? We have… Sandwiches.” She says browsing to fridge. “Unmade sandwiches.”  
          “Can I get the made kind?” John asks.  
          “You can make it.” She chirps with a cheeky smile. “Dave, what kind of sandwich do ya want? We have the stuff for SB&J, grilled cheese and tomato moz.”  
          You’re about to tell her that you’d be down with a grilled cheese when a giant white devilbeast starts circling you.  
          “Um, guys…” You say nervously as the beast gives you a suspicious glare.  
          “Oh, that’s my dog Bec! Don’t worry, he’s does this to all new people, just let him smell your hand!”  
          “Oh hell no.”  
          “Are you afraid of dogs Dave?” John says with a smirk spreading across his face.  
          “No, I just don’t feel inclined to put my hand anywhere near a hellhound.”  
          “Becquerel is not a hellhound!” Jade huffs and continues. “Plus, he won’t stop circling you until he’s confirmed you’re trustable.”  
          “Jeez? Is he your personal bodyguard or something?” You say.  
          Jade gives you a pointed look and you tentatively hold out your hand to Bec. The giant white dog ceases circling and begins sniffing your hand. You then see him lean back on his haunches. Shit I’m so screwed. Suddenly there is a crazed devilbeast licking your face and dog slobber all over your shades. Gross.  
          “Yay! You passed the sniff test!” Jade cries and then wrestles Bec away from you.  
          “Test?”  
          “Yeah, usually people who don’t pass the sniff test turn out to be… Unsavory characters.”  
          “And getting slobbered all over is passing?”  
          “Yes.”  
          John is chuckling and Jade seems to have relaxed significantly. Okay, good job Strider, you passed the freaky dog test.  
          “So do I get a grilled cheese now?”

~~~~~~~~~~

          Over lunch you discover that John and Jade are not as normal as you thought they were. John apparently really hates baked goods and can smell when someone used a Betty Crocker cake mix. He also considers himself a master prankster and has a strange interest in biology and ghosts. If Betty Crocker super smell wasn’t weird enough, his sister is weirder. Jade grew up on some pacific island with her Grandpa. Apparently he was a cool but weird dude who let her explore ruins with him and insisted she carried a gun on her at all times. She into making gadgets, weird plants and nuclear physics. Wow. You seem normal compared to her. You, Dave Strider, have been outweirded.  
          “Yeah, so when I was about eight, Grandpa had his accident and since we lived so far away it took a year for anyone to figure out he had died and pick me up.”  
          “What?! So you just lived on a jungle island alone for a year?  
          “Mmmhmm.”  
          “But how did you like eat?”  
          “Well me and Grandpa were mostly self sufficient and I knew how to tend the garden at this point. We had a greenhouse and everything so we could grow our food in the winter.”  
This is when the doorbell rings and Bec bounds over to the door.  
          “Oh, that must be Rose!” John chimed standing up.  
          “Rose?” You inquired.  
          “What? They didn’t tell you? We’re fostering both you and Rose this year.” Jade explained.  
          “Oh.”  
          You decide to remain on the table while this Rose person is brought inside. You look up from your sandwich when they come back in the room and find a familiar face looking down at you.  
          “Strider.”  
          “Lalonde?”  
          “Long time no see, David.”  
          “You know that’s not my na- forget it. What’re you doing here?”  
          “I could ask the same of you.”  
          “Um, I hate to interrupt but do you guys know each other?” Jade cuts in.  
          “Yes, Mr. Strider and I were childhood friends in our earlier years. Our respective guardians were friends.”  
          “If by friends you mean I was her psychoanalysis patient then yes, we were the best of chums.”  
          “That’s Rose for you” John said with a chuckle.  
          “Hold up, you know Lalonde to?”  
          “Yes, I stayed with them a year back while Mom was in rehab.” Rose answered curtly.  
          “Ah.”  
          You busy yourself with eating potato chips as John and Jade catch up with Rose. You haven’t seen Rose Lalonde since you were like eight. Bro used to bring you over and hang out with her mom, they were pretty close friends. You usually got stuck playing with Rose, which usually resulted in Rose attempting the psychoanalyze you. You mostly just messed with her and even had the occasional rap battle. Her interest in weird poetry certainly paid off. You remember her mom had a drinking problem and was at the very least tipsy whenever you were over. After your parents died Bro didn’t take you over as often and it wasn’t long before you stopped seeing Rose entirely. It’s a little weird seeing her now, she looks, well, older. She looks sadder to, like she’s been through a lot since you last saw her. It’s not that surprising given her mom’s drinking habits, but still weird. Rose still wears black lipstick. You don’t know what it is with Lalondes and black lipstick but Rose has worn it as long as you can remember. Man, she wears that shit religiously. She used to make jokes about how she has to keep her lips as dark as her soul or the horrorterrors would get her. Jesus fuck she was a weird kid. But regardless of all the shit that's happened, you're glad to see her again.  
          "Hey Dave! I bet I can beat you in mariokart."  
          "Oh hell no, you're going down Egbert!"

~~~~~~~~

          As it turns out, Harley bested both of you. Three times. In a row. You and John had to fight for second place, which as it out, was harder than you thought.  
          "Okay, okay, I give up! All hail Jade, queen of mariokart." You say with an exasperated sigh.  
          "That's right! Grovel peasants, bask in my glory!" Jade decrees, holding her controller proudly and standing on the couch.  
          "All hail!" You and John echo.  
          Dad walks into the room and smiles at the sight of Jade shouting nonsense and standing on the sofa.  
          "I see everyone is doing well!"  
          "Yeah! Dave passed the sniff test with flying colors, even though he is yet to pass Jade in mariokart." John says with a snicker.  
          "Watch it Egbert!" You warn but you can almost feel a smile creeping across your face, now that's a rare phenomena.  
          This is when you are hit in the head by a nerf bullet. You look confused for a moment but then see that Dad has pulled a nerf gun from behind his back. John is already hurrying back to his bedroom to get guns and ammo, while Jade and Rose zoom up the stairs. Maybe impromptu nerf wars are just a part of this household? You don't know, but you can't say you mind. As soon as you're threw the door way, John throws a bag of foam ammo and a gun at you, which you catch with relative ease.  
          "Okay, our room is our base, likewise for Jade and Rose, Dad has the kitchen. Once you get three shots you have to go back to base for twenty seconds. If you can steal and successfully get an object from another persons base, they can no longer recharge and as soon as they run out of lives, they're out."  
          "Got it!" You say cocking your nerf gun.  
          "I'll hold down base, you go after Dad or the girls base!" John orders and waving you into the hall.  
          You slink out of the door, moving soundlessly through the corridor. You got this, you are well versed in familial strife sessions. You know that Rose is a good shot, but she probably chose to hold down base. Jade, what with her gun obsessed Grandpa, is probably a force to be reckoned with. Actually, where is everyone? You don't see Dad or Jade anywhere. Maybe, Jade went after Dad. Well, if she's occupied, you ought to take the opportunity and go after her base. As you approach the door you find you were correct, Rose is prowling around her base. You are about to pull the trigger when you hear someone drop from ceiling behind you. POP! POP! POP!  
          "Nice try, Dave!" Jade says cheerfully.  
           You don't waste time with niceties. You scoop up the ammo that hit you and sprint back to your base.  
          "Ceiling bomb?" John inquires.  
          You nod and begin counting down from twenty. Zero! Okay, time to go after the kitchen.  
          BAM! You seriously got pied? That's allowed? Dad actually decided hitting you in the face with a pie was a good idea. What the hell.  
          "OH YOU ARE GOING DOWN!" You yell at no one in particular and hear laughter from the hall.  
          Okay, you were planning on going easy on these doofs, but they give you no choice.  
          The next few hours are a blur of nerf bullets and yelling. Dad is the first to fall. You and John make a go for broke plan in which he lures the girls from their base and you steal something. It fails miserably and ends with you are John hiding behind the couch.  
          "Okay, our base has been taken, I've got three lives, you have two. We're basically screwed." John pants.  
          "Yep."  
          "Wanna scream charge and see how many times we can nail Jade is the face?"  
          "Hell yes."  
          "CHAARRRRGGGGGEEEE!" You and John scream in unison.  
          You hit Jade in the face twice.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~  
          It isn't long after the nerf war finishes when dinner begins. Hungry from all the running around, you wolf down a plate of tacos and beans and rice. It isn't till you've practically scraped the plate clean that you realize that you haven't had a meal like this in forever. Neither you or bro could cook to save your life, so it was only the rare occasion of eating out that you had a proper meal. You go back for seconds. Rose and you have a passive aggressive war in which you see who can tell the most embarrassing childhood story about each other. You thought you had her beat when you went into her Harry Potter obsession and the bad poetry she wrote but the minute she brought up your "ironic love" for Disney movies you knew she had won. After dinner you help with the dishes.  
          "Mooovvviiieee night!" You hear John yell from the living room. You dry your hands and walk over to find Jade and John debating over who gets third pick and Rose perched in an armchair with her knitting.  
          "Isn't it like late for a movie marathon?" You say scratching the back of your neck.  
          "It's not like you ever get any sleep the first night." John replies.  
          Damn, you forget that this kid spent several years in foster care. He seems so happy.  
          "You get first pick!" Jade chimes, gesturing to the absurdly large movie collection. It's roughly two large bookcases, crammed with movies.  
          "Woah, where the hell did you get all those?"  
          "Oh, Grandpa really loved movies, and I inherited his collection. Plus all of John's stuff."  
          You stroll over to the movie collection, feeling a smirk slowly spread across your face as you see that they have Mulan. You pull it out if the shelf and turn to smile deviously at Rose.  
          "David, no."  
          "More like hell fucking yes."  
          "David, I implore you, if I have to see Mulan again I will gouge your eyes out with knitting needles."  
          "Fuck you, we're watching Mulan. Mulan is a total badass."  
          "You win this one Strider." Rose snips, with a devious look in her eyes that could only mean she's picking Harry Potter next.  
          John pops Mulan in the player and settles down on the couch next to you, pulling a bowl of popcorn into his lap. Your name is Dave Strider, and for the first time in your life, you feel at home.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter two is finally out!! Yay!! I hope you like fluff.

                   ======> Be sleeping John  
                   "Nanna!"  
                   You jolt awake. You had a nightmare, that's it, just a dream. Damn, you haven't had one in awhile. You take some shaky breaths and roll over to find that Dave is awake. He's curled into a fetal position and he's shaking.  
                   "Dave?" He goes rigid. "Dave are you okay?" He shakes his head.  
                   Of course he's not okay, he's probably woken up from a nightmare like you, and his are probably worse at this point. What should you do? You can't just leave him there and go back to sleep. Okay, um, gosh darn it, he needs a hug. You climb out of bed and sit down tentatively in his. No turning back now. You wrap your arms around him. He goes rigid again. No turning back, you rub circles into his back and feel him slowly relax. He melts against you, letting out slow shaky breathes. You wonder what possessed you to do this, in the past, if you noticed someone was having nightmares you just let them be. Why does the idea of Dave shaking and alone stir something in you? Well, admittedly, you are closer to Dave than most of the other kids you've taken in. Most of them thought you and Jade were weird. Not Dave, Dave is your best bro. You can't have your best bro crying and alone. Not on your watch. It seems Dave has fallen back asleep, you try to gently pry yourself from him but he clings closer. Welp, looks like you might as well get comfy. You lie down and pull Dave over to you, tugging the blanket over you both. You let out a small contented sigh and drift off the sleep.

                   ~~~~~~~~~~

                   ========> Be Dave

                   You slowly drift back into consciousness as morning arrives. Not that you want to, you're incredibly comfortable where you are. Actually, why the hell and you so damn comfy? You vaguely remember waking up from a nightmare and then- goddamnit. You realize that you are still snuggled up to a sleeping Egbert and internally flip your shit. Okay, why the hell did Egbert have to wake up when you were so uncool. If you were in your right mind at the time, you wouldn't be in this situation. You should probably get up. Hopefully Egbert is a deep sleeper. Jesus Christ, why me? Curse my affection deprived subconscious. Like hell you're getting up. You're staying right where you are goddamnit, you want to enjoy your goddamn cuddle time. With a little hesitation you shift a little closer to John and close your eyes. You could only conceal your freaky red peepers so long before John found out. You moved in with Dad almost three months ago, at the beginning of summer break, and It wasn't long until John caught you with your shades off, thankfully he isn't freaked out by them. You've got about a week until you are faced with the first day of freshmen year at high school. You're kind of nervous to be honest, okay, totally freaked out to be honest. You've already done your back to school shopping and signed all the papers to send you to the local high school. John and Jade know quite a few of the people going from elementary school, but you however are know nobody. That's a terrifying prospect. You totally aren't uncomfortable with the idea of being separated from your foster siblings for classes. That'd be so uncool, and Striders are not uncool. You can't pinpoint the moment you became too attached to this family, but you know it happened. Come on Strider, don't be too attached, you've only got the school year left before you are shipped off again. You're only a foster kid, don't get your hopes up. You sigh and roll out of bed. John wakes up and fumbles for his glasses, he's blind as a bat without them. Stupid glasses that make his freaky blue eyes look freaky huge and adorab- stop. What the fuck is with you today? He doesn't try to have a feels jam with you about last night, thank god. You both get dressed in comfortable silence and head down to the kitchen for food.  
                   "Hey guys!" Jade greets you. She's probably been awake for hours, seeing as she sleeps weird sporadic hours.  
                   "Morning." John replies, shoving some toast in the toaster. "You want some toast?" He asks you, looking over his shoulder.  
                   "Sure. "  
                   John has somehow taken the role of feeding you, after he saw the disaster that was a Strider cooking. He probably doesn't trust you to make anything edible for yourself.  
                   By the time you're all munching away on breakfast, Rose emerges, and let me tell you, she is not a morning person.  
                   "Mornin' sunshine." You drawl, purposely laying your southern accent on thick.  
                   Rose blatantly ignores you over the whir of the coffee grinder. You all decide its probably safer to leave her be until she's had a few cups of coffee. Once she's thoroughly caffeinated and dressed does she greet you.  
                   "Good morning everyone."  
                   "Morning was like an hour ago."  
                   "So, have we any plans for today?" Rose replies, ignoring the previous statement.  
                   "Anything you guys wanna do?" Jade asks.  
                   "Nothing in particular." John replies.  
                   This is when Jade's phone starts ringing. She looks down on it and groans as as she picks it up.  
                   "Oh my gog, Karkat! What on earth do you want?" She shouts into the phone. "Jegus Christ! You're at camp, there is nothing me or John can do about your boredom." There is a pause. "No! Goodbye Karkat, see you on the first day of school."  
                   "Who the hell is Karkat and what fuckwad names their kid Karkat?" You ask, slightly incredulously.  
                   "Karkat is me and John's friend from school. He's really a pretty good guy, he just has some..."  
                   "Anger management issues." John finishes.  
                   "Yeah, let's call them anger management issues." Jade says.  
                   "He's the short angry one, correct?" Rose inquires.  
                   "Yep, that's Karkat. Uh, Dave, be warned, Karkat may put you off with the yelling."  
                   "And cursing."  
                   "And long rants about romcoms."  
                   "And occasionally bursting into tears."  
                   "And long metaphors that become unrelated to the original message."  
                   "Ok, you get it. But he is pretty cool."  
                   "If you can look past all that."  
                   "Okay, okay, I get it."  
                   They seem to really like this kid, I mean, if he's Egbert approved he can't be that bad.

                   ~~~~~~~~~~

                   ========> Be a very nervous John  
                   You are a very nervous John. Actually, tremendously nervous. So so so nervous. You've triple checked to contents of your backpack,tried in vain to comb out your hair, double checked that everyone else has everything need, made sure Jade has walked Bec and are now pacing the living room as Rose applies makeup. Dave's mouth is pressed into a tight line and his aviators cover his eyes, despite that he looks like this most of the time, you get the feeling he's just as nervous as you. Jade is looks the most excited out of all of you, she's bouncing on her toes as Rose glides down the stairs, hair perfectly in place with a lavender head band separating her bangs from the rest of her face, eyes impeccably lined in thin black eyeliner and lipstick as dark as her soul. She's wearing a high waisted black maxi skirt and an elbow length black tee shirt with a lavender tentacle monster across her chest and a lavender belt. She's not the only one who spent a considerable amount of time picking out her out fit for the first day of school. Jade is wearing fitted sort of cargo pants that she can weirdly pull off and a green tank top with a black atom looking thing on it that she got from a physics summer camp a while back. Dave refuses to wear short sleeve anything ever. It's absurd. It doesn't matter how many times you tell him he will get heatstroke and die, he always wears long sleeves. He's currently wearing his record shirt with the his red zip up hoodie, black skinny jeans and aggressively red converse. You, probably to spite him, wore only short sleeves. You're wearing cargo shorts and your lucky ghost busters tee shirt.  
                   "Shall we go?" Rose asks.  
                   "Let's go!" Jade practically shouts with nervous energy.  
                   And you go. Off goes the gaggle of weirdos to their first day of high school. The school is about a fifteen minute walk from you're house and you can feel the anticipation build with each step. It isn't long before the building is looming over you.  
                   "Heeeeeeeey, John!" You hear a familiar voice call and suddenly find a pair of long spidery clasp your shoulders.  
                   "Uh, hey, Vriskra."  
                   "I see that the goth wizard girl is living with you again."  
                   "You mean Rose?" You reply stiffly, hoping that your nerves aren't showing in your voice.  
She turns her face to Dave.  
                   "Ooooooooh! You've got a new one!" She says in a sing song voice.  
                   "Excuse me?" Dave says.  
                   "Oh my! Either he's a freak as well or the Eg8erts have done a 8etter job at seeming normal than ever."  
                   "Vriska!" Jade warns.  
                   "Play Nice, Vriska." A calm but stern voice says.  
                   Oh thank heavens for Kanaya. She's wearing her signature jade green lipstick and her favorite red skirt. You weren't particularly close with Kanaya during middle school, but she was always one to step in if someone was being an ass and when Rose had been staying with you earlier they had gotten along very well.  
                   "Hello, John. Hello, Jade. Hello, Rose." She says, guiding Vriska out of your personal space by her shoulder.   
                   "I Don't Believe We Have Met." She says to Dave.  
                   "No, we haven't. I'm Dave Strider."  
                   "Pleased To Meet You Dave. I'm Kanaya."  
                   "Nice to meet you too."  
                   "Alright guys! Come on, we're gonna be late for freshmen orientation." Jade interrupts and starts off towards the building, waving at people she recognizes. You all trail behind her until a groups of upperclass men usher you into the gym. Jesus Christ this is a lot of people. Okay, John, okay, you got this. Jade scouts out seats so you can all sit together in the stands and you squish yourself between her and Dave. There is a presentation about rules and such and you are then divided into groups to be lead on tours by upper class men. You visibly relax when you are told you and Dave are in the same tour group.  
                   "You okay Egbert?" Dave asks.  
                   "Um, yeah, nervous, but okay, mostly nervous." You say with a, surprise, surprise, nervous grin.  
                   The corner of Dave's mouth twitches up a fraction.  
                   "Okay, let's get moving Egderp."  
"Hey!" You say huffily.  
                   There it is, the small smile that occasionally graces Dave's face. He started using the nickname some time ago, and he seemed rather proud of himself. You remember sarcastically praising his wit and grinning like the incredible dork you are. The rest of the tour goes smoothly and joking around with Dave seems to relax you both significantly. It isn't till you are back in the gym that you here an all too unwelcome voice.  
                   "Wwell, wwell, wwell! Wwhatevver do wwe havve here?"  
                   "Eridan." You say stiffly.  
                   "That's no wway to greet a friend, is it Egbert?" He sneers.  
                   "Hello Eridan."  
                   "I see you'vve adopted a little hipster loser havven't you?"  
                   "Fuck off." You snap, you have no patience for this guy right now.  
                   Eridan grabs the front of your shirt and lifts you onto your toes. Curse your short stature.  
                   "Wwhat wwas that?" He growls.  
                   "Who the fuck do you think you are?" Dave says suddenly, his voice flat and his face stoic.  
                   Eridan drops you and saunters towards Dave.  
                   "Wwell then, looks like you'vve taken a liking to this loser, havven't you?"  
                   "You didn't answer my question."  
                   "It doesn't matter, all you need to know is that I'm above losers, dorks, hipsters and combinations their of." He sneers, jabbing Dave in the chest.  
                   "Look whose talking." Dave retorts.  
                   Eridan's face contorts with rage.  
                   "You wwanna go, you little punk?"  
                   "Eridan, don't!" You yell.  
                   "Awww, looks like the dork doesn't wwant to see you hurt." Eridan drawls.  
                   "I wasn't worried about Dave's safety, I just don't want you in the hosptita-"  
                   Eridan gets dropped kicked from behind.  
                   "Hi, Eridan!! I see you've run into my brother and Dave! Now be a dear and never speak to them again, okay?" Jade says with false sweetness.  
                   You have never been truly scared until you have seen Jade Harley angry. Eridan lies on the floor, fear stricken. This is when you hear foot steps running towards you.  
                   "Oh my cod! I'm so sorry!" A curvy girl dressed in a menagerie of bright colors exclaims. She then turns to Eridan with her lips pursed and her hands on her hips. "I let you out of my sight for one second and you go and make an ass of yourself? I don't know why i even put up with you! Now apologize!"  
                   "B-but fef they're-"  
                   "I'm having none if that bullshit, apologize Eridan."  
                   "I'm sorry..."  
                   "Good! Now come on, leave these poor souls alone." She says, hoisting him up and dragging him away by the ear.  
                   "What the fuck just happened?" Dave says.  
                   "That was Eridan Ampora, he used to pick on John quite a bit until I found out and intervened." Jade says, wrinkling her nose slightly.  
                   "And the girl?"  
                   "Oh, that was Feferi, she's really very nice, we don't know why she bothers herself with Eridan. She takes it upon herself to keep him out if trouble for one reason or another." You say, checking to make sure the front hasn't been stretched out to badly.  
                   "Any other assholes I should worry about?" Dave says.  
                   "Well. . ."

                   ~~~~~~~~

                   =======> Be Dave

                   "HEY ASSWIPES!"  
                   You immediately tense, this must be one of John's tormentors. You turn to look at John to see, wait a second, he's waving, and grinning. What the fuck.  
                   "Hey, Karkat!"  
                   Hold the freaking phone, this is Karkat? Well, he looks the part, he's short like John, but built a lot more sturdy. His face looks like it's  
permanently scowling and his black hair sticks in a million different directions, sort of like John's does before he's attempted to at least try to tame his hair.  
                   "WHOSE THE NEW FUCKASS?"  
                   Jesus Christ it's like he speaks in all caps.  
                   "Karkat, this is Dave, Dave, this is Karkat." John says tentatively.  
                   "Sup." You say to him with a little nod. Hell yes, you are so fucking cool, ice cold bitches.  
                   "HELLO FUCKASS."  
                   "Please excuse his choice of words, he calls everyone that." Jade says.  
                   "Nah, it's cool." Hell yeah it's cool, if it has anything to do with you it's hella chill.  
                   "SO WHERE DID YOU GET THIS WAYWARD SOUL?"  
                   "I come from down south, sugar. Texas baby." You say, suddenly switching into a thick southern accent.  
                   John and Jade laugh, they seem to get a kick out of whenever you start talking like a southern hick. You worked pretty hard to make the accent less noticeable and blend in with the locals.  
                   "So, long time to see Karkat! I can't believe you actually signed up for anger management camp!" Jade blurts out, she's grinning and it looks like she's been dying to tease him about it.  
                   "I DIDN'T SIGN UP FOR THAT FUCKING CAMP-"  
                   "I Signed Him Up." Oh look, that girl is back. You think her name was Kanaya. Rose has appeared with her, smiling ever so slightly.  
                   "Oh, so Mama Kanaya signed you up."  
                   "FOR THE LAST TIME HARLEY! KANAYA IS NOT MY MOTHER!"  
                   "Yes she is."  
                   "Karkat, Your Hair Is A Mess." Kanaya says, pulling a comb from her pocket and attempting to comb his hair.  
                   "OH MY GOG KANAYA STOP IT" Karkat yells, swatting her hands away from his head.  
                   You stare around at the freak show around you. You could get used to this.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dorky fluffy Halloween stuff

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's taken so long to get this one up!! Thanks for reading this far!

=====> Be Dave

You're name is Dave Strider, and, well, hot damn, you've been genuinely happy. You aren't exactly sure when happy became such a common mood, but it happened. What with having a proper home and real friends, you've been in a pretty kick ass mood. You don't have nightmares at least once a week, you don't feel like a worthless piece of shit, you feel how you think you should feel, which is pretty fucking great. You are currently grinning, albeit manically, because you totally whooped Ampora's ass in dodge ball. You may pay for it later, seeing as Ampora's stronger than you thought, but you can hold your own. Eridan shoots a glare at you across the locker room that you return with a smirk.

"Don't get too cocky Strider." Eridan snarls.

"Wow, have you started going to speech therapy? That sentence sounded almost normal."

"Wwatch it Strider!"

You laugh and stroll out of the locker room and up the stairs to algebra.

"H3Y COOL K1D"

"Sup Terezi."

"D1D YOU DO TH3 HOM3WORK?"

"Naw, I copied Jade."

"SW33T, C4N 1 COPY?"

"You got it."

Terezi is your friend from math class, and she sometimes hangs out with your friends. She's pretty cool, though admittedly, she freaked you out a bit at first with the whole sniffing thing. But, hey, she's blind, a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do. She also won't listen to you when you tell her that eating chalk can't be good for her.

"H3Y D4V3"

"Yeah?"

"H4LLOW33N 1S COMING UP"

"So?"

"JOHN H4SN'T TOLD YOU?"

"Told me what?" Okay, admittedly this makes you nervous. You and John are bros. Best bros. What the fuck could he be hiding from you?

"ABOUT TH3 3GBERT TR4DITION H4LLOW33N P4RTY"

"What the fuck is so important about some Halloween party?"

"OH YOU'LL S33"

~~~~~~~~~~

=====> Be John

You're name is John Egbert and you are obscenely excited for Halloween. It'll be Dave's first Halloween with you, and boy oh boy, he's in for a doozy. You've spent a long time deciding on what to dress up as, Ghostbuster, scary ghost or bed sheet ghost are your current top three choices. Now, you hold the best Halloween parties ever, for a select few. Dad knows how much you get into Halloween. You've gathered your costume, decorations, and other spooky necessities. You're finalizing who you are inviting, Karkat is bugging you to invite his friend Gamzee, but the dude is high most of the time. Karkat and Kanaya are definitely invited. Terezi is good fun and she has been coming a few years. You aren't sure whether to invite Vriska, you know it'll cause drama either way. If you invite Vriska, she isn't a very nice person and will make Kanaya uncomfortable, seeing as they only broke up last year. If you don't invite Vriska, she will be mad at you and cause a mess. Maybe she'll be too cool for you guys? Hopefully. You then realize you were spacing out in the halls and you make a mad dash to class.

"Sup, Egbert."

"Hey, Dave."

You plop down on the seat next to him and pull your note book out of your bag.

"So, TZ was saying that you make a pretty big hullabaloo on Halloween."

"You could say that... What are you going to dress up as?" You say with a grin spreading across your face.

"Dude, we're high schoolers."

"The day you are too old to dress up is the day you stop being fun."

"Dude."

"Also you can't come to the party unless you dress up."

"I live with you, what the hell are you going to do? Kick me out?"

"Yes." You say, dead serious.

"You are such a dork."

"Yes."

~~~~~~~~~~

=====> Be Dave

You're name is Dave Strider and you are currently being shaken awake by John.

"Get up get up get up! It's Halloween!"

"No need to wake up half an hour before the alarm."

"Bluh! Dad called us in sick, we're decorating."

You roll over. If you're not going to school, you're not getting out of bed at five AM. You pull your covers over   
your head- FUMP! John has fallen on top of you and is laying on you like a dead weight.

"Hey! Not cool."

"I can't moooove Dave, it's too earlyyy."

"Fuck you."

"Woe is me, I have to be up at an early hour."

"Get off!" You flail around until John rolls off you. "Fuck you, now I'm too awake to go back to sleep."  
John grins an all too pleased with himself grin and you sit up and push on your shades. You hear a yelp from the other room and realization dawns across your face.

"Dear god, you didn't." You say, genuinely horrified.

"Halloween is serious business, Dave."

"But, it's a death wish."

"JOOHHNN!" You hear Rose yell from the other room and John looks terrified.

"Good luck." You say.

The door swings open and a very angry looking Rose stands in the doorway. She's wearing her pajamas, meaning nothing but an oversized tee shirt and a pair of underwear. This sort of thing left you rather flustered at first, but eventually you got used to the fact that the girls pranced around the house in their underwear.

"Jonathan, David, why, pray tell, am I awake at this ungodly hour?"

"Halloween?" John squeaks.

Okay, normal morning Rose is scary, five in the morning Rose would make horrorterrors scream for mommy. She stalks over to wear John is perched on the edge of your bed and clasps her hand onto the front of his shirt. John lets out a pitiful whimper. Rose is a lot stronger than she looks, so she hoists Egbert up onto his toes and pulls him close to her face.

"Don't wake me up at five in the morning." She breathes.

And with that, she drops John and stalks out of the room.

"Okay! I guess we'll just start without her!" John says, picking himself off the floor.

"You're actually insane." You say, looking at John and then back at the door.

You get out of bed and walk into to hall to find a disgruntled looking Jade.

"You are never getting me to do that again." She says to John, who emerged behind you.

"Sorry, sis, I'll wake her up next time."

"Next time? Are you insane? You're going to do that again?" Jade exclaims, waving her hands around.

"Okay maybe not. But anyway! Here's the game plan, I'm going to help Dad with the cooking, Jade, you can decorate outside, Dave, you're taking the interior of the house, Rose can help when she wakes up."

"Got it, I'll show Dave where we keep all your crazy decorations." Jade says and signals you to follow her.  
You head down to the basement and she flicks on the light, weaving her way through various piles of boxes.

"Woah, why do you guys have so much stuff down here."

"Inheritance." Jade says curtly.

"Oh."

You didn't exactly inherit a lot from Bro, and a lot of it you couldn't bring yourself to keep. Like, Lil' Cal, that creepy ass puppet, you threw away when the social services asked you if you wanted it.

"Here it is!" Jade says, gesturing to a massive pile of boxes. "These five are outside decorations, which I'll be taking, the rest you can go to town with." She stacks a box on of another and carries it upstairs.  
Jesus fuck, that is a lot of decorations. Imagine every Halloween decoration you could possibly need and add twenty more. Yep, this is what is in front of you. You pick up a box and head upstairs. This isn't going to be easy.

~~~~~~~~~~

You were right when you thought this wasn't going to be easy. Egbert has an obscene amount of Halloween decorations. Rose wakes up around eleven and after a large cup of coffee, assists you in decorating. John and Dad are cooking really creepy looking food. Not cupcakes with little bat sprinkles. Like, bread that looks like human limbs, punch that looks suspiciously like blood, a salad with realistic edible insects. John has instructions on all of the decorations, for example, there are various hidden compartments in the house for fog machines, speakers for sound effects, various pressure pads and trip wires that require setting up, so fake corpses will come swinging down whenever you cross the hall. This creepy looking ghoul that you had to put in the bathtub with this gray slime you had to make. Various glowing eyes hidden amongst the cobwebs. Fake blood you have to splatter everywhere. Apparently Jade made friends with this guy from school who builds robots? Or she made friends with a girl who was friends with a guy who builds robots? Anyway, a lot of freaky robotic monsters scampering around the house. Bro used to really like robots, but he never had enough money to support his hobby. Every now and then, John scampers from the kitchen to help you out. You're assuming that the outside of the house is looking similarly spooky. You're adding the last blood splatter to the windows when John emerges from the kitchen looking like he borrowed Hannibal Lector's apron.

"Awesome! This looks great! We've got an hour before guests start arriving so let's get into costume." He says, wiping his hands off on his apron and untying the back.

You all dart upstairs to start getting into costume. John pulls his Ghostbuster uniform out and starts changing. You, for totally ironic reasons, are dressing as genderbent Repunzel. For irony. It isn't because you've watched Tangled like fifty times, which you totally haven't. No, irony, dressing up as a genderbent princess is totally ironic. Oh god, Rose is never going to let you forget about this.

Soon everyone is in costume and a Ghostbuster, Disney "prince", sorceress and werewolf are sitting in the living room, waiting for guests to arrive. Every now and then a trick or treater shows up, and rings the door bell, seeming weirdly triumphant and panting. You suspect that Jade laid out a full blown obstacle course of spooky booby traps and pranks. You also suspect this because you here frequent crashes and screaming from the front yard. You hear the doorbell ring.

"I got it." You say and grab the candy bowl, full of full sized candy bars.

When you open the door, you find an angry looking Karkat in a funny looking devil costume, looking flustered with his horns askew. Kanaya stands next to Karkat, straight and calm, completely unruffled by the yard full of traps. She's in an elaborate Victorian vampire costume, fake fangs and all.

"Good Evening, Dave." Kanaya says, drifting elegantly into the hall.

"I HATE EVERYONE BLAH BLAH YOU KNOW THE DRILL." Karkat shouts and stomps after her.

You follow them back to the living room, laughing as Karkat shrieks when he sets off a booby trap.

"FUCK YOU STRIDER"

"Calm Down Karkat."

"Hey!" John says, before he looks like he remembered something and dashes into the kitchen.

"Hey guys!!" Jade chirps.

Jade engulfs Kanaya and Karkat in a greeting hug, with muffled shouts from Karkat and an awkward hug back from Kanaya.

"Hello everyone. You look wonderful Kanaya." Rose says, standing up from her armchair.

"Thank You, Rose, Your Costume Is Gorgeous As well."

"WHAT ABOUT ME."

"You look like an angry Oompa Loompa with horns. Oh, wait, you look like how you always do with horns."   
You retort.

"FUCK YOU!"

"Play Nice Boys."

"Sorry, Kanaya."

"GODDAMNIT YOU'RE NOT MY MOTHER."

"Of Course." Kanaya says, patting Karkat on head.

"I HATE ALL OF YOU."

The doorbell rings again and there is some rapping on the door.

"That's probably Terezi, actually... How the fuck is a blind girl going to get past all the traps?" You say. Karkat looked like he set a lot of them off and he has properly functioning eyes.

"We don't know. She always shows up though, unharmed and unpranked. Whenever we ask her how she does it, she just cackles and waggles her eyebrows." Jade answers.

"Whatever, I'll go let her in."

You open the door to find Terezi standing in front of you in a dragon cape.

"H3Y D4V3!"

"How the fuck did you know it's me?"

"I C4N SM3LL YOU D4V3."

"That's creepy."

She cackles and you lead her back to the living room, where she inhales deeply.

"H3Y GUYS."

She sniffs around a bit before grinning in a satisfied way.

"K4RK4T, K4N4Y4, J4D3, JOHN, D4V3 4ND ROS3." Say says, pointing to each if you in turn.

"STOP SHOWING OFF TEREZI, WE ALL KNOW YOU HAVE FREAKY SUPER SMELL."

"Oh, Terezi got here? Cool! We'll head out soon, just give me a minute." John calls from the kitchen.

"Head out?"

"Trick or Treating!" Jade says, tossing bags to everyone.

"Aren't we-"

"Shhh."

"But-"

"Free candy, Dave, free candy."

"I really can't argue with that."

John joins the rest of of you guys and you yell to Dad that you are heading out. You aren't really sure when Dad became Dad, and you thought that you would find calling anyone dad weird and never do it. But, Dad is so dad like, it's like, he's the essence of daditude. Calling him anything other than Dad seems wrong.  
You guys trick or treat until you have gotten a lot a funny looks and a fuck ton of candy and head home.

"Hey, I bet I can get to the house without setting off any traps." You say as you reach the booby trapped front yard.

"Bet I can do it in thirty seconds!" John counters.

"Boy down peasants, I will do it in fifteen." Jade challenges

"Shall we have a contest?" Rose proposes.

"I Would Be Interested."

"H33H33H33 L3TS DO THIS."

"FUCK."

"Okay, whoever gets there the fastest wins, each prank you set off is a five second penalty." John says, pulling out his phone to time. "Whose going first?"

"Me!" Jade says.

"Jade, Should Get A Start With Ten Seconds Because She Set Everything Up." Kanaya interjects.

"Fair enough." Jade shrugs.

Jade drops into position and nods to John.

"Okay, 3, 2, 1, go!" John shouts and Jade launches herself through the yard, hopping over trip wires are around obstacles. She sets off three traps and gets there in fourteen seconds. Next, Karkat barrels through the course, setting off ten traps and yelling a lot. Kanaya goes next, and she's surprising agile in the shoes she's wearing, she only sets off four traps and gets there in twenty five seconds. Terezi goes next, she sets off a lot if traps. She basically runs to the door swinging her cane manically in front of her. She basically sets off everything. You're assuming that the reason she seemed so unfazed by the yard when you had greeted her at the door earlier is that she just can't see them. You go next. You drop into position as John counts off. You start running, over the trip wire, around the ghost, under the battle axe, jump over the coffin, damn! You hit a trip wire and take a pie to the face. Gotta keep moving. Shit, a body suddenly drops in front of you. You run into it and then keep going. Ok, where the fuck did that pit even come from? You think as you launch yourself over it. You get to the doorstep panting and nearly crash into Karkat.

"WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOING DOUCHENOZZLE!"

"Sorry kk."

"Hey, someone start a timer for me!" John yells from across the yard. You fumble for your phone.

"I got it! 3, 2, 1!" You yell.

John starts running. He's doing pretty well, he's moving slower than you, but he's setting off less traps. He's soon stumbling onto to door step and he nearly crashes into you, but you catch him.

"Easy, Egbert." You say, looking down at him with a smirk.

"How did I do?" He says.

"One trap, 35 seconds."

"Beat my high score!" He shouts triumphantly, punching the air above him.

You all walk inside, bickering over who won. Scores are tallied and penalties accounted for. Terezi argues she should get a bonus because she's blind. Eventually everyone settles on the ranking of you in first, John in second, Kanaya

In third, then Rose, then Jade (it's the gosh darn penalty that got me!), then Karkat and Terezi in last.

"I'm hungry! John, lets eat the creepy food now." Jade says.

"Mmkay, Dave, can you help me bring it out?"

"Sure thing."

You follow John into the kitchen as Jade directs the rest of the crowd to the dining room. Rose enters the kitchen and behind pouring the weird blood drink into wine glasses and carrying it out on a silver platter. John flits about the kitchen, giving you platters to bring out at random intervals and telling you where to put them on the table. Soon everything is on the table that should be and you and John take a seat.

"IT LOOKS DISTURBING AS EVER." Karkat says, scanning the table.

"Thanks! Lets dig in!" John chirps happily and everyone proceeds to eat in the only way teenagers seem to, in a frenzy of chatter and food.

Admittedly, you were hesitant at first to eat any of this, it looks so god damn creepy, but as soon as you took a bite, creepy be damned this stuff is delicious.

==> Be the happy John.

Whew! Halloween is going off without a hitch. You're so relieved. The Halloween feast is confusing people in the exact way it should. You're so glad you didn't invite Vriska, even if it means you'll pay the price later, it's worth having a great Halloween party where everyone is getting along. Soon the food has been eaten and the plates have been cleared and you all retire to the living room to argue over what movie to watch.

"Ghostbusters!" You shout, holding the DVD over your head.

"I'm telling ya, Rocky Horror Picture Show or Nightmare Before Christmas is the way to go." Dave counters.

"May I recommend The Ring?" Rose suggests.

"NO!" Everyone shouts.

"How About Dracula?"

And so the arguing continues. Extremely scary horror movies are ruled out, with a slight frown from Rose. Classic cheesy horror movies are pushed farther and farther back on the lineup, with a sigh from Kanaya. Karkat tried to lobby for some Halloween romcom, but he got shot down rather quickly.

"I S4Y W3 W4TCH TH3 B3ST SM3LLING MOVI3."

"And which one is that?" Dave asks, pushing the narrowed down selection into her hands.

"HMMM!" She says, giving each movie a long sniff. "MY JURISDICTION DICT4T3S TH4T THIS MOVI3 SM3LLS TH3 B3ST." She says in an authoritative voice, holding The Nightmare Before Christmas above her head.

"You heard her Egbert, the supreme jurisdiction of TZ's super smell says we watch this one, you can't say no or she's gonna put you in the slammer."

Terezi bursts into a fit of giggles that are really more like cackles and You do your best to pout but you're suppressing a "signature Egbert grin" as Dave calls it. Everyone concedes to watch The Nightmare Before Christmas, which is a universally accepted as a good movie. Everyone settles in and you enjoy the show.

~~~~~~~

====> Be Dave

It's three in the morning, you've almost finished watching Dracula, John Egbert is snuggled against you're side and you totally don't have your arm around his shoulders and you're cheek pressed against the top of his head. Okay the last part was a lie. You totally are brocuddling the hell out of John. The credits roll and everyone looks around at each other.

"Another movie?" John says half heartedly and disinterestedly.  
Everyone shakes their head. No one seems to want to go to bed yet, but if you watch another god damn Halloween movie you might punch a hole in the television. You glance around and suddenly see that a devious smile is spreading across Rose's mouth. Oh hell no.

"I've got an idea!" Rose says in a off putting enthusiastic voice.

"Rose, I swear to god..." You say.

"How about we tell ghost stories?" She says, ignoring your previous statement.

"No fucking way, Lalonde! You traumatized me as a child! I don't want us to all have to attend group therapy."

"Come now, David, are still you as wimpy as you were when you were little?"

"No! You're just probably freakier to compensate."

"Come on, Dave, one story can't hurt!" John says with his doofy grin.

Oh well, you tried, you can't say no to Egberts stupid smile.

"Fine." You say, slumping against John.

Rose then proceeds to tell a ghost story that results in everyone making a blanket fort for safety and everyone falling asleep in said fort.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aw, cuties! PREPARE FOR A HECK TON OF ANGST NEXT CHAPTER ;33


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ANGST ANGST ANGST

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YES HELLO THERE ARE TRIGGERS I SHOULD WARN YOU OF IN THIS CHAPTER!! TRIGGER WARNINGS INCLUDE: SUICIDE, ALCOHOLISM, DEATH, IMPLIED EMOTIONALLY MANIPULATIVE RELATIONSHIPS! Please comment if I missed anything!

=====> Be Dave

You wake up with a feeling of vague unhappiness. It takes moment to remember the source of this feeling, when you remember it's Bro's birthday. It also takes you a moment to remember that you are in John's bed because you were having bad nightmares. C'mon, Strider, you're better than this. You've been peachy keen ever since you joined this freaky pseudo family, your dead brothers birthday shouldn't ruin that. You've got every reason to be happy, you've been reunited with your childhood friend, who has always been a sister to you and moved in with John and Jade who are really great, made friends with some weird but cool people at school. See? You shouldn't be sad; but, this whole day is serving as a painful reminder that your brother died. Serves as a painful reminder that you found the body, that the last member of your biological family is six feet under. You fumble for your shades and clamber out of bed. You get dressed for school and head downstairs to greet John and Jade who are already up and chatting away happily. Rose come down a few minutes later to slug some coffee and everyone eats some cereal before heading out.

The November air blows in your face, and while the others seem relatively unfazed by the chilly weather, goddamnit, you're from Texas, texans don't know what cold is. John and Rose seem a little off as well. You assume Rose remembers it's Bro's birthday, but as for John, you don't know. You shove your hands in your pockets, this is going to be a long day.

~~~~~~~

=====> Be John

It isn't long until Vriska catches you alone, she's been giving you the silent treatment and sending you death glares ever since she realized that she had been deliberately not invited to your Halloween party.

"Hey, John." 

"Um, hey Vriska."

"How are you?"

"Good."

"Soooooooo, it seems like you didn't invite me to the Eg8ert Halloween Extravaganza."

"Uh, yeah." 

"Why is that, John? I thought we were friends. "

"Well, um, I invited other people that you don't really get along with and I didn't want people fighting at my party." You babble.

"Oh! So you like them 8etter than me? Kanaya matters more to you than me?"

"Vriska, last year was a mess because of you. You caused so much drama. You played with Tavros's feelings and flat out broke Kanaya's heart! Not to mention..."

"Oh, so that's it! You totally still have feelings for me!"'

"Oh my god! No way in hell. After all the emotionally manipulative bull shit you put us through? Not going to happen." Your trying really hard not to cause a scene. You normally aren't so temperamental but Vriska deserves it.

"Whatever. You're all losers anyway, I don't know why I ever 8othered with you. You're lucky that I even d8ted you in the first place." She sniffs, folding her arms and shifting her weight onto one hip. 

"Lucky?" You scoff.

"Whatever!!!!!!!!" She shouts and storms off.

Goddamnit, she probably made you late for class. You sprint to English, sitting down with a thump next to Dave.

"Woah there, what's got you lookin' so homicidal?" Dave says, raising his eyebrows.

"Bllluuuuhhhhh... Vriska." You groan.

"What's the deal with her?"

"Uhg, she's just upset I didn't invite her to the Halloween party, brought up last year's drama."

"Last year's drama?"

"Long story short, she dated Kanaya, cheated on her with Tavros, Kanaya found out and left her, Vriska got bored with Tavros, started dating me, messed around with Tavros some more until we both found out and dumped her sorry ass."

"Wait, you dated spider bitch?"

"Yeah, for like a month last year."

"So did Kanaya?"

"Yeah."

"And wheel chair kid?"

"Mmhmm."

"And she's still trying to pretend she's your friend?"

"Uurrrg."

"Jegus, that sucks ass."

The rest of the class goes by and you relax a bit. Vriska isn't your problem anymore, you can just hang out with Dave, because Dave isn't a crazy jerk. Actually, you really like Dave a lot, you've really connected with him. He's a really good friend for listening to your stupid problems even though you know he's definitely got something on his mind. You couldn't tell right away, but Dave and Rose are definitely off their game. You won't bring it up, if Dave wants to tell you he can.

~~~~~

=====> Be Dave

You sitting at lunch, eating your food and joking around with Karkat. Kanaya and Rose are immersed in some conversation about who knows what. Terezi is trying to tell John how different colors taste, and John is trying to keep her from licking chalk. All in all, a perfectly normal lunch period with your pseudo family. At least until Vriska suddenly sits down between you and John. Kanaya suddenly switches from the relaxed position she was talking to Rose in, to perfect and rigid posture with her eyes on her food, Rose follows suit. Karkat's jaw drops and Terezi wrinkles her nose.

"Heeeeeeeey guys."

"Hello Vriska, Might I Ask Why You Are Here?" Kanaya says in an even voice.

"Can't a girl hang out with her friends once and awhile? Sheesh."

"BUT YOU'RE NOT OUR FRIEND AND WE DON'T LIKE YOU." Karkat barks.

"Y34H, 1 K1ND 0F D0NT W4NT YOU TO M3SS TH1NGS UP 4G41N."

"Vriska, you messed with my brother and my friends quite a bit last year, so I recommend you leave!" Jade chirps, her green eyes looking fiery.

"Yeah, uh, Vriska, sorry you have no friends anymore but we really don't want to hang out with you." John says tentatively.

This is when a giant lanky juggalo sits down between Karkat and Terezi.

"SuP My BrOtHeR."

"GAMZEE WHAT THE FUCK. OH GODDAMNIT YOU'RE STONED AGAIN." 

"hOnK."

"Karkat, who the hell is this?" You say.

"THIS USELESS PIECE OF SHIT IS GAMZEE."

"At YoUr MoThErFuCkInG sErViCe."

"Looks like the old gang is getting back together!" Vriska says.

"Vriska, 'The Old Gang' Was Dysfunctional And Broke Apart For A Reason. Now I Must Ask You Both To Leave." Kanaya says, standing up and folding her arms.

"Fiiiiiiiine! Seeya l8ter, John." Vriska says with a wink.

"AdIoS mY bRoThErS." Gamzee says, engulfing Karkat in a hug before leaving.

After they left, everyone relaxed significantly.

"Kanaya, may I ask, what old gang was Vriska referring to?" Rose asks.

"Ah, You See, She Is Referring To Our Previous Group Of Friends, John And Jade Arrived Right As It Was Beginning To Fall Apart. It Consisted Of Me, Karkat, Terezi, Vriska, Gamzee, Eridan, Feferi, Tavros, Sollux-"

"Whose Sollux?" You ask.

"Sollux Is Karkat's Friend, He Is A Programmer, He Wears The Funny Dual Color Glasses."

"Oh, so he's the one with the older brother who is dating TZ's sister?"

"Correct, Now Where Was I? Ah, Aradia, She Is The Girl Who Wears A Lot Of Red And Has A Fascination With The Deceased."

"Corpse party girl?"

"Yes. Equius And Nepeta Were Also Members. You Know How Every School Has That One Kid Obsessed With Horses And That One Kid Obsessed With Cats? That Was Equius And Nepeta. I Think That's Everyone. As You Could Assume, Our Group Was Incredibly Dysfunctional and Disbanded." 

"Shit, that sounds like a mess."

"IT WAS."

The conversation drifts back into more normal things, but your mind has drifted elsewhere. You hate yourself for dwelling and feeling mopey, but the same person keeps returning to your mind. Goddamnit, Bro, you think to yourself.

~~~~~~~

Your sitting in your living room, feeling your laptop warm your legs. John and Jade went to bed awhile ago and Rose is perched in her armchair with her knitting.

"Dave?"

"Hm?"

"I think it's time we had a chat."

"Rose, I'm really not feeling it today."

"Dave, I'm not kidding."

"I ain't kidding either." You say, feeling your accent slip due to irritation.

"Dave, I know perfectly well why you are upset today, but you must remember-"

"If you know perfectly well than you should damn well leave me alone-"

"Stop pretending the only person whose death he effected was you!" Rose shouts and you meet her gaze. She's shaking slightly and breathing hard.

"How did he die?" She says.

"Rose-"

"How did he die, Dave?"

"Please-"

"For eight years of my life he was the closest thing I had to a father! David Strider, how did Dirk die?"

You take a deep breath, trying to collect yourself before speaking.

"He ran himself through with a sword."

Rose squeezes her eyes shut and leans back in her chair. You're trying to calm the burning feeling in your eyes and throat. There a moment of silence before Rose replies.

"When?"

"June. Early, June." 

Rose chokes. She pinches the bridge of her nose. She takes a deep breath before turning to face you.

"Mom died while driving drunk."

~~~~~~~

====> Be past Rose

You're sitting in the kitchen, idly flipping through a book, your mother is currently busying herself cooking when the phone rings.

"Hello, Roxy Lalonde speaking." She chirps into the phone. There is a pause where the person on the end speaks. "O-oh god. Oh god." She clutches her chest and turns abruptly to you. "Rose, go upstairs."

"Mom?"

"Now!"

You hurry upstairs and into your room. Why did Mom seem so upset? What's going on? Why won't she tell you? You flatten yourself against the floor in hope of hearing the conversation below, all you hear is muffled sobs. You pride yourself in your ability to maintain composure, your old family friends had taught you the trick and you had tried to maintain the talent, however you find you composer slipping in the privacy of your bedroom. You pace and wring your hands, not sure what's going on or what to do. You here a clatter downstairs. You don't think much of it and you continue pacing. An hour passes and you haven't left your bedroom when you hear glass shatter. That's it, you have to see what's going on. You rush downstairs only to be greeted by a very unwelcome sight.

"Mom?"

"Mom, what are you doing?"

"You've been sober all year! Please, stop."

"Mom?"

"Mom?"

"I failed Rosey." Hic. "I was supposed to look out for them." Hic. 

"Mom, it's okay, just, please, stop."

"I gotta go Rosey. I gotta go get-" She stumbles. 

"Mom! Wait come back!"

~~~~~~

====> be present Dave

"And so, later that night I got a phone call informing me that Mom crashed, no casualties except for her. I packed my things and social services picked me up." Rose finishes, gesturing around the living room.

"I'm sorry." You mumble. Roxy was the closest thing to a mom you had, even though you guys fell out of touch when her drinking got bad and Bro went to Texas to find work.

"I think I finally know why she relapsed." Rose says, her voice heavy.

"What?"

"Bro had two emergency contacts."

"Wha- Oh god. Oh god."

"You were the first, but the second, was Mom. When Bro died, she was contacted. That is what the phone call was about."

"Oh god, oh god, Rose, I'm so sorry, I should've-"

"Called us."

"What?"

"You should've called us. We could have helped." Rose says, gripping the arm rests.

"I'm sorry."

"Me too."

And with that, you both head upstairs. You flop face first in your bed, shaking. It's your fault, if you saved Bro he would be alive and Mom Lalonde would be alive and you don't know how you'll be able to look Rose in the eye again.

"Dave?" You forgot how light of a sleeper John is.

"It's my fault."

You feel the bed sink next to you and a hand rubbing circles in your back.

"What's wrong?" John asks.

And because it is John, and because you can trust him and you know he won't leave you, you tell him everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise the next chapter is fluff.


End file.
